


Out of place

by Saffello



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Boarding School, Catholic School, Darkness, England (Country), F/F, Fluff, Obsession, Teacher-Student Relationship, elite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-04
Updated: 2014-10-06
Packaged: 2018-02-19 21:54:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2404238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saffello/pseuds/Saffello
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A look at the life of Cosima Neihaus and her time at the elite British boarding school, where she finds more than she bargains for in the form of the 'corrupting' French teacher. </p><p>Miss C is the enigmatic French teacher at the St. Mathilda boarding school, idolized by her students for her great manner and never ending ream of fascinating adventures. Quickly Miss C develops an obsession with Cosima that consumes them both. Rachel is jealous of Miss C's distraction with Cosima and makes her life hell.</p><p>Based on a bunch of school based films, but mainly Cracks by Jordan Scott.</p><p>Sorry, incomplete but I don't want to continue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

1.

“I'm sorry Scott. I know England is a long way away, and we can still skype and play WoW and all that stuff..” Cosima tried to console him but she was wasting her breath, it would not be the same. She fumbled her hands as they sat on the bench outside of the local park. There was a police siren in the distance as she gulped, hearing Scott sigh. He tried to speak but the words failed him, awkwardly he pushed his glasses up his nose and watched a car drive in the distance down the long rolling roads of San Francisco. “Scott-” Cosima began, but she leaned forward cutting her off, his elbows propping his head up as she stared into the dusk light. 

“Cosima. You're moving to a whole other country that's like really hard to hear you know.” Scott was visibly upset, and Cosima swore she could see some tears filling in his eyes. 

It sucked. It really sucked.

But she had no choice she was 16 with no job or money or anything, she dropped out of school at 16 and now she was just floating around. Following her parents. And this time her parents did not want to come back. Her mother, Janice being from England persuaded her dad Dennis to finally make the move. They had found some 'pretty neat place' in north England in the moors. Cosima couldn't even picture what it might look like, what the people would sound like, how they would treat her, what she would occupy her time with, or any of it. It was foreign. Totally foreign and she couldn't help but go with them. 

“Maybe you could stay here or something, or like you could stay at my place. I only have one spare bedroom and that's mine, but you could take it and I'd have the sofa and--”

“Scott. I'm going dude. And I can't not go now. It's happening.” Cosima dipped her head letting the chill end of summer air float over her red winter coat. It was an unusually cold summer but each evening they still met up at he park, they still sat on this exact bench and just talked. It would be never be like this again. 

“Come on Cosima. You could ask if you could stay. You could try--”

“Dude stop begging.” Cosima hated how she sounded, she was not like this. But the only way she knew how to deal with leaving was to be sharp, assertive and just deal with it. There was no use fighting something she couldn't avoid. 

“What would you do in my situation. You're best friend of 10 years just ups and leaves for England. I mean what the heck is in England aside from like...tea or the Queen or something.” Scott was angrier now, lifting his head up from his arms and shifting his weight to turn to her. Cosima furrowed her brow and looked up above her thick rimmed black glasses. They just stared at each other for a long while, and then Cosima couldn't stop herself, a grin slowly crept across her face, with resistance so did he. They laughed at each other for a second. For no reason, just nerves or sadness or for some insane reason they thought it was funny. The end of an era. 

“I'm sure there is some stuff in England. Like not just tea and the Queen, they have like...the place where they make the tea and where the Queen lives.” She laughed, avoiding her eyes. “I mean they have great universities, like Oxford and Cambridge...and they like...they made Harry Potter, dude what more do you want!” 

“You Cosima.” Cosima's heart dropped and she gulped looking back at him. 

“I'm going away tomorrow and I need to know you will still be here, my best friend for when I come back. Whenever that is. England has internet you know, I mean there will just be a few hours of radio silence and then boom endless jokes about Britain.” Scott was not amused. “Look I have to go dude. I need to sleep. This is...goodbye.”

Cosima got up before he or even herself could say anything more. He hesitated, he always was a moper. But then he had to face reality she was leaving for England and this might be the last time he sees her in the flesh for..a while. Awkwardly she held her arms out, tugging with her red cold fists at the sleeves of her coat. He moved in towards her, wrapped his arms over her arms as she wrapped her own around his waist, putting her head onto his chest and closing her eyes. The sweet smells of fresh cold grass, the roads, the flickering orange glow of street lights, even the dogs barking in the distance. It was home to her. And nothing else would ever feel the same. 

 

\----------

 

“You cannot be serious. A boarding school?!” Cosima was furious, the black taxi cab was a ridiculously cold vehicle and the accent of the driver was so angry that it set the tone straight away. That and the thick fog that seemed to cover the late night on the way up north. 

“Ohh Cosima you have to see this as a great opportunity not a burden.” Janice, her English mother fit right in with this place as if she never left. Cosima tugged tighter on her coat and sighed into the cold air seeing her breath in a white mist float away from her. Dennis shuffled his seat next to her, pushing their suitcases to a better position between their feet. Janice was in the front for the sake of leg room, she held a simple handbag on her lap, her hands in tight cream leather gloves. Her eyes looking the taxi driver up and down, as if disgusted by his disgruntled physic. 

“My sweet Cosima, you cannot go into this with a bad perspective--” Dennis was trying to be nice, squeezing her frozen hand with his rough warm mitts. For a moment she felt the familiar warmth and sensed contentment. But it was short lived. 

“Dennis, if I knew I would be enrolled in a stupid boarding school I would not have agreed to come!” Cosima shook her head, pushing her ear phones deeper into her ears and turning her music up a notch. Fogging up the condensed windows with her breath. “It's meant to be summer right why is there so much fog?” She asked to no one really, half expecting the taxi driver to answer her after a short pause. 

“Darling please.” Dennis was begging now in his sweet fatherly way that always seemed to make her feel at ease. Cosima was silent. “England has some of the best education institutions in the world. I know you protest against education but I think you would really like it.” Dennis was soft and not intrusive when she tried to persuade someone to do something. He had a way of saying things that meant that he never had to ask, he would simply speak and you would feel compelled to do it. And he never do this to benefit himself or hurt anyone he was just...the most amazing and sensitive man she had ever met and she respected him so much. But at this point in time he could have been telling her she had won the lottery and she could do everything she wanted, but in this taxi, knowing the destination ruined it all. 

“Plus, they have the most magnificent scenery in the area, great lakes surrounded by mountains. If you could get lost just imagining the wondrous adventures you could get up to I would be lost long ago.” Janice enthused from the front, even the taxi driver thought she was trying to hard. But Janice did always have some kind of edge to the way she conducted herself that Cosima would never understand. 

6 hours later and they would be away in the hills of North England. Where specifically she had no idea but it didn't matter. Just 6 hours, and then she could go on a walk or do something to get out of this god damn taxi. 

“But a boarding school?” Cosima sighed, still not looking at any of them, drawing shapes on the misty window. Dennis laughed a little, Cosima always had a way to may light of even the darkest situations. 

“One of the best in the world. Specialising in Literature, philosophy, science and languages. They are especially good at French and eastern European language. Some of the best translators-”

“Dennis stop.” Cosima pleaded with a smile. She didn't want to think about it. If worst came to worse she would have to suck it up and get on with it. He smiled and crossed his arms over his chest. Cosima thought for a second more. “At least it's not an all girls school...right....?” Cosima noticed the pause from everyone present and then snapped her neck to see Dennis with a half hearted smile in hope for an agreement. 

“Honey all girls school are not that ba-”

“How could you do this to me, I mean honestly what the heck-” Cosima protested complaining through movements of her hands flapping in the air. 

“Hey! It's not all bad. I went to this school. It is a perfectly respectable establishment, run by sweet Catholics-”

“A Catholic school!” Cosima was again fuming. Her eyes wide and her nostrils flared, not believing what she was hearing. She thought her high school was bad with the secular liberals who preached freedom every second of everyday but now it was turned the other way. It didn't actually surprise Cosima, Janice had turned out like such a prude, with her uptight posture and cream leather gloves. Who even wears leather gloves, they are so not warm, Cosima thought. 

\---------

 

“ALL THINGS BRIGHT AND WONDERFUL, ALL CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL” they sang in perfect synch. Cosima could feel her secular skin peeling off. Shaking her head at the sight and sounds before her she gritted her teeth. 

“Nope I am so not dealing with that.” Cosima spun on her heels, turning to run out of the chapel with it's giant stain glass windows, great halls full of pews and candles burning up the air, not to mention the hundred or so girls all dressed in gowns holding song books and singing that hymn. Dennis caught her gently by the arm, smiling at the people who saw her escape attempt. He looked to her with a stern glare, she smiled to cover up her attempt and stood next to him. Letting the singing and noise vibrate the wooden hall before a deadly silence ensued. “Wow that was so great, I've seen enough lets go, like now.” 

“Hello, may I help you.” A woman with a long wrinkled face, tight grey curled hair pressed up on her head and a full neck black gown. She was not smiling. Janice held out her hand with a smile, the other adjusting her head garment that was more of a decoration that a practical hat. The woman looked Janice up and down, from her blonde hair, pale face, and over her brown tench coat and elegant boots. Janice looked prim and proper, a real 'English' woman. And it sickened Cosima. The woman smiled on recognition and took her hand. 

“Janice Windsor.” The woman exclaimed. Janice quickly realised the mistake and laughed a little, as the girls all in their gowns and rows sorted out their next song, preparing to sing again. Cosima looked for an escape. 

“Op, not anymore Mistress Gertrude. I married, this is my husband Dennis Neihaus and child Cosima. Who we are enrolling here-” Cosima was about to protest but the Mistress's eyes shot to her, quickly they sussed her out and fell back to Janice's hand where the ring would be. Probably trying to figure out if Cosima was made in wedlock. 

“Enrolling is such a strange term. I prefer just visiting.” Cosima added in, holding out her hand with a grin. Pushing up her thick rims on her nose. Dennis flinched at the comment and watched Mistress Gertrude's response. At the first the woman did not speak, her long face looking down over her, her eyes hollowed. But then she smiled too, a little colour returning to her face. 

“Ahh Miss Neihaus. How nice to finally meet you. Everything is in order for your formal arrival when the term begins.” Cosima suddenly realised that there was no one in the school on their way in aside from here in the this church/chapel type thing. The woman noticed Cosima drifting look. “The girls always come down to practice their singing during the weekends. We have a nation leading choir. Now, shall we go somewhere a little more quite.” Mistress Gertrude asked as the choir suddenly burst out with that same song. 

“ALL THINGS BRIGHT AND WONDERFUL ALL CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL...”

Cosima looked over the girls that would become her friends for the next few years of her life. All of them female. All of them with modest hair cuts and sorry expressions. Religions were tough, so much guilt filled everything. Hymns, what the hell were they. Looking over it one last time as she began to follow them away she caught some ones eye. A woman at the opposite end of the hall, blond hair held back with clips at the side. She was not dressed like the rest of the girls in great black gowns she was wearing..normal clothes. And it seemed odd. The woman smiled slightly at her as she smiled. Cosima returned the smile suddenly feeling super guilty, before catching up with her parents. Just before they all disappeared through the greats doors from where they entered Cosima looked back up at the woman. The woman was looking right at her, no change in expression just singing and staring. Cosima's heart lept.


	2. Chapter 2

2.

“So you'll be starting in September, how do you like the school?” Janice asked, cutting up her pizza with a knife and fork. Cosima stared at her, they had been in the country two days and already she had 'etiquette'. Cosima stuffed the pizza in her mouth and crossed her legs under the table accidentally budging her dads leg. As she did in shock he missed his mouth and smudged tomato and cheese down the side of his face. He laughed and gave her a sarcastic disappointed look before grabbing a napkin and wiping it off. Janice looked down her nose at them both. 

“So next week. It seems great, everyone is so religious though. I mean nothing against religious people but I'd rather not have it shoved down my throat in a boarding school I-”

“Cosima just imagine how much you can thrill them all with your new wave American attitude. The Brits love Americans!” Dennis argued with a grin, looking over to Janice who dropped her eyes, but then looked back up at him with a blush across her cheeks and a small smile. Dennis looked over to Cosima and winked, eating some more pizza. 

“I can't believe you are even thinking about school when we haven't even unpacked the house.” Cosima took note of her surroundings. The house they had moved into was cosy, not too big or too small, but with all the boxes here it was tiny. American houses even in San Fran were bigger than this place, cheaper and bigger. This was all they could afford. It was in a small village, which is what the English call small collections of old looking houses with no facilities and in the middle of no where. The walls were dark looking even with the light coat of paint. There was one window at the end of their dining room over looking a great valley, but she could not see as it was getting dark even at this time in the night. Janice paused to look over the house, swallowing some pizza that she cut up on her paper plate she purchased earlier. “What are we going to do in between waiting and you know whatever you guys are doing here?”

“Well Dennis and I have decided to make an earlier retirement. The systems in place in England are so much more than they are over in the states and as I have English citizenship they are open to us. Not that we need to retire, but this is going to be the beginning of the rest of our lives.” Cosima's heart stopped beating. That would mean they were not going back. Like ever. Suddenly age 18 felt like it was so far out of reach.

“So whilst I am away at this place you are going to be fishing and reading and doing old people stuff. You are like 50 how can you want that?” Cosima had never understood her parents, they loved education and the system and each other, Cosima hated that sort of thing. Relationships had never appealed to her, education was gross and now she was stuck in some country with crappy weather and no one but those girls who were all uptight and guilty. Dennis reached over the table and took Janice's hand in his own, they gripped at each other with loving eyes and there was a pause between them. 

“In the future once you are settled we were actually thinking of travelling Europe and Asia. We've both never been before and-” Dennis began, but Cosima quickly interrupted, it seemed to be the way they had conversations. 

“Define settled in guys.” Cosima asked, suddenly not hungry for the rest of her large slice. Dennis gulped, Janice gripped his hand tighter, her wedding ring catching the light from the dim bulb suspending by white wire above their heads. 

“Well as soon as we feel that you are comfortable and you've made friends then we were going to go. Pretty soon.” Dennis was the nicest, most sweet father anyone could ever hope for and Cosima knew it, but right now he was being a bit of a douche. Probably following Lady Janice's instructions to the letter. 

“So like in a few weeks.” Cosima slid her self back on her chair from the table, wanting to get up and run to her room, but she had no idea where that was and whether it was even unpacked. “We've just moved to a whole other country, somewhere I've never been and you are leaving me here?!” Cosima stared at them both. “That's so not cool.” Cosima got up, staring right at Dennis in hope that he would jump up and call bullshit, say it was a joke, but she knew this time there was no negotiation. 

“Cosima we will only go when you are ready and not before. Who do you think we are?” Janice asked with concern printed all over her face like a selection of emotions she picked out and displayed when needed. Cosima wasn't even sure there was any emotion in her. 

“No it's cool guys do what you want and all that. I am sure I'll be fine.” They had been discussing travelling for months before they dropped the moving bomb on her, and so it was no surprise. She just felt a little bit betrayed, but there was nothing she could do. “I'm going to bed, urr, where is that again?” Janice pointed but before she could finish the direction Cosima answered for her. “Right sure, thanks.” Turning on her heels, she dropped her plate and plastic cutlery in a bin bag and headed up the rickety stairs to the small landing, hoping her bedroom would be around somewhere. 

“Do you think she'll be happy?” She heard Dennis whisper when they assumed she was out of ear shot. She did not hear the reply, instead opening a door and finding and empty smallish room with a mattress in, unwrapped. It was good enough. She took her coat off, and sat on the bed up against the wall and laid the coat over her like a blanket. Pulling out her phone from her baggy pants she unlocked it and hoped for the best. She had next to no signal but there was some internet access. Within seconds she was on her messenger app and typing Scotts name in. 

'Scott this place sucks, I'm going to an all girls Catholic boarding school. Send help.' She waited for a response, it said he was online but she wasn't sure of the time difference between here and 

'COSIMA THANK GOD YOU'RE ALIVE' He typed frantically. A great sigh escaped her mouth. 

'Oh man, I am so glad that you're online. Dude, what the hell.”   
'Sounds like they lied to you? Do you have to go, can't you just get a job or something?' Cosima paused thinking of something to write, the dark room just illuminated by her phones glow. The reflection on her glasses made her look ghostly. 

'I think I have to. We've been their and signed me up to the slaughter so I guess it's final. I mean I don't have much choice. I don't know this place it's totally different. People are so cold here, like the taxi driver even scoffed at our accents when we got in. The only nice people were the air cargo guys who delivered our stuff to the house, but he was American too.'

'You've got me still right, we can skype like as soon as. Are you free now?'

'I honestly don't think my internet speed would stretch that far. I'm sure we're getting internet or something...I hope. If not call the police this is a crime.' 

'You really trust the police after all that's happened recently? >__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment whether you like the set up or not, it will be different from other fanfic I am sure. Most of my fics are 'different' aha. Thanks for reading. Sorry for lack of proof reading


	3. Chapter 3

3\. 

“French is not an easy language. But with the right motivation and energy it can become a dream to speak. It is known as the language of love after all.” Miss C was leaning on the front desk her hands holding a thin cane between her hands, observing the class. Cosima sat at the front. It felt like she was in kindergarten again, she knew noting. Dropping out at 16 was different, but transferring to a whole knew education system was hard to say the least. At least this school was private and had no recognisable structure to the rest of the UK from what Cosima knew. They did exams, but the teaching was different. It seemed you were not taught to get jobs, but taught to live in the aristocracy. And Cosima could not do that. Everyone was sat to attention, their hands poised with pens over their note books. Cosima sat a row from the front, with a borrowed scrap of paper and a pen she found in the hall. Biro of course. Miss C began to walk around the room, coming straight passed Cosima's chair and wondering behind her. Cosima could feel her heart leaping at the closeness of this woman and the strong feminine scent that followed. She was so hot, even in her old lady style clothing. It was refreshing to not have thighs and low cut tops thrown from every direction. It was refreshing having to actually use her imagination. 

“What is the most important thing in life?” Miss C asked, walking back to the front of the class, everyone anticipating her next words in silence. It was as if she knew everyone here idolised her. Between now and breakfast she had heard girls muttering about her, talking about how they were looking forward to their lesson with her. No one responded. “Alison, tell me the answer.” Miss C asked, turning sharply, and patting the cane on her hand waiting for the Alison girl to respond. At the snap of the cane Cosima's heart leapt again. It was nothing specific but the whole woman that excited Cosima so much. She perked up and answered. 

“God?” Alison said in an Irish type accent. Miss C hit her palm with the cane. Cosima blinked.

“Non, Alison. Catherine, what is the most important thing in life?” Miss C turned this time to Catherine who was sat near to Cosima. Miss C's eyes briefly caught onto Cosima's and she felt this pulse all through her to her core. 

“Death?” Catherine blurted out as she if she had cracked the trick question. Miss C looked disappointed. 

“No Catherine! Life, what is the most important thing in life?” Miss C strode up the gap between the individual desks, and went to the back of the class. All the girls turned to face her, a see of white blouses and matted hair in front of her. But Cosima felt their thoughts were still on her. 

“Loving all of God's creatures?” Alison answered again. Miss C was disappointed again but answered quickly. 

“Non, you are completely missing the point.” 

“Desire, Miss C.” Miss C's look changed, she brushed the loose strands of hair she tried hard to clip back, up behind her ear and smiled to Rachel who answered her. Putting the end of her cane on her desk and smiling. 

“Yes! That's it, Rachel. Desire.” Miss C strode back to the front of class her hands in the air, letting all their bodies and heads turn back. Cosima was so confused as to where this was going. Even in her short stay at her high school, it was 'read this textbook, answer this test'. This was foreign in every way. “Désir. You can achieve anything in this world if only you desire it.” Miss C looked straight at Cosima, who blushed and gulped, looking down at her empty paper and back up again. Miss C had moved to the black board behind her desk. “Now I know you all have studied French all of your lives, but for the few of us who have not, let us start with basic sentence structure.” The class laughed, and Cosima suddenly felt really self conscious. What was the deal in this place. In the corner of her eye Miss C watched Cosima's reaction. 

There was a long period of teaching sentence structure and mindless regurgitating of what Miss C wrote on the board before even she was bored of it. But Cosima was not bored of staring at her physic. Miss C snapped the chalk back into it's holder and walked around the front of her desk. 

“Come around girls. That is enough of the French language today.” Miss C seemed tired or fed up, or both. But suddenly an eruption of metal scrapping block paving stones sounded up and made Cosima jump. They were all bringing their desks around the front desk, forcing Cosima to do the same. She pushed her desk forward and some how made it to the front, next to Rachel. Miss C watched the endeavour and then focused her eyes over both Rachel and Cosima. “Have I ever told you the tale of Cupid and Psyche?” Miss C asked, her head tilting upwards to see them all. In an excited moan they all shook their heads and said no. Even Rachel adjusted her seat with a big smile on her face, waiting for the story. Cosima looked up at the woman, very confused as to why it was suddenly story time in the middle of French class. Miss C leant forward for all of them to see and ran her eyes over them all. “In case you were wondering Cosima. We do not have set lessons in this school. We do what we feel is needed. Art in French class, story time, swimming, maths, English, whatever takes our fancy.” The girls all looked over to Cosima. Cosima had no idea what to expect now.

“Get comfortable it is a tale that is banned by the dastardly nuns in this place. But you wont tell?” Miss C smirked and glared her eyes towards the door. There were a few giggles around the class, Rachel practically crawling over her desk in want of the story. Cosima had no interest in the story of the nuns, but the idea that she was telling them something that was bad, that was so bad it was banned was kinda hot. 

“Back in the mythical lands of olden times there was a princess named Psyche who was so beautiful that even the Goddess Venus was jealous of her.” The woman began in a grand, excited but contained majesty that made Cosima feel enthralled but even more confused. Their eyes locked at the last words, with a smile in her direction Miss C continued. “In revenge for this beauty Venus instructed her son Cupid to make the princess fall for a horrible monster.” Miss C said this in a disgusted and enthusiastic growl. “But instead against everyone's wishes and the will of the Gods, Cupid fell for Psyche.” There was a pause, Miss C looked hard from Rachel to Cosima and dropped her eye lids to the empty sheet of paper on Cosima's desk. “In secret the two lovers met at night and he became her unseen husband. They did..very naughty, very unCatholic things to each other which made them feel ecstatic.” Cosima felt uncomfortable at that comment, she could have just said sex, or messing around or anything. But naughty was not a word she would describe sex with. Then she remembered where she was, in a Catholic school filled with 'pure' girls who had probably never even felt lust before. Miss C scanned the girls reactions, they were all blushing, feeling guilty and muttering quickly between them all. All except Rachel and Cosima who were focused on the woman at the front. Miss C noticed Cosima's disinterest in the story but continued anyway. “Cupid gave Psyche one instruction. She could never look at him, and if she did he would be gone forever. But the stupid girl could not help but look at the master of lust in front of her.” Miss C stood up dramatically. “And so he vanished. She had lost him, never to see him again in the same form. Venus being spiteful as she is gives Psyche a series of tasks she needs to fulfil in order to find him. Each tortuous and full of suffering.” Miss C was shouting a little, wondering around the room letting each of their innocent heads fill with images of what these tasks might include. Cosima did not turn to follow her at this point, but leant down low in her chair and tried to reach her phone in her pocket. “Cupid could not bare to see how this was making his love feel, so he pleaded their case to the gods.” Miss C boomed across the group, the were all engrossed in this tale. Cosima could not see what some pounce Greeks or Romans or whatever in toga's could possibly offer them in a French class. There was no signal on her phone. Miss C walked back to the front to all of their admiring eyes. “The Gods feeling pain and sympathy for Cupid and his love grants him one last wish. For his love to become immortal. They marry together in heaven. And continue to do, naughty, and unCatholic things for the rest of time.” The girls were all blushing once more. Cosima actually looked around to them all to see if there was something worthwhile that might have caused this sudden sexual tension in the air or their blushing. But there was nothing. They were just consumed in some totally bad myth about a horny god and some princess. 

A bell cracked through the air, the girls instinctively without even thinking as if conditioned, pushed their desks back to where they were and packed up all of their things, rushing out of the room. Miss C hung about at the front of the desk, watching Cosima with curious eyes. Rachel hung around too, packing her things away and staring at the two of them. Cosima only had a pen and paper so went to leave. The woman was hot, but weird as hell.

“You can't ban books, it's like banning windows to see outside. They can't hide us behind the chapel walls forever. At some point we're going to be in the real world.” Rachel was preaching as they all walked to their room. 

“Have you told the Mistress about the books?” One girl asked from behind Cosima. What books? She thought. 

“And risk getting Miss C into trouble? They cannot stop her from giving me books to further myself. I quite like the fact that she gives me them. I think she likes me, I think I am her favourite.” Rachel continued. To Cosima's discomfort she realised they were all sharing one big long room, with beds at intervals along the walls. Each with their own bedside table, each with 5 items on display, each perfectly made. There seemed to be one empty bed at the end of the row, so Cosima walked over to it. On it she found a uniform pressed and ready to wear in her size. Cosima sighed hard at the sight before her. Banned books, uniform, hymns, it was all circa 1940 and she hated it. It was the 21st century, they had to live a little. Under Cosima's bed she saw that her suitcase was already there waiting for her. All the girls filed into the room following Rachel. “I have not officially made your acquaintance.” Rachel said, coming over to Cosima and holding out her hand. Cosima had already tried to 'make her acquaintance' but that solved nothing. Cosima took the hand anyway. “I'm Rachel your team captain.”

“Cosima.” Cosima said pursing her lips, not really liking this Rachel kid much and wanting to get on with her own stuff. She pulled the case up and unzipped it. Rachel hot over her shoulder looking inside. Cosima frowned and scanned her eyes over the stuff inside. Tshirts, poncho's, shoes, toiletries..and her stash of weed. “Sheesh.” Cosima said shutting her case suddenly and turning around to hide it from Rachel. 

“What, what is it?” Rachel asked, looking over Cosima's shoulder to the case. Cosima leaned up to block the view, pushing her glasses up her nose and grinning, shitting herself. A catholic school, she could not be found with drugs, and it could definitely not get out that she was gay. She would have to play this very carefully. 

“Hello Cosima, I'm Alison, we had French together.” Alison was a very small girl, who had come around to the bed and held her hand out. 

“Of course you had French together Alison we all have classes together.” Rachel complained stepping back and crossing her arms over her chest. At that Cosima was confused, if they all had lessons together why was she talking to Miss C about making sure she was signed on? A few other girls seemed to circle around Cosima's bed like she was the new shiny thing. Cosima took her hand smiling, the thick tension in the air temporarily alleviating.

“You're from America huh? I've always wanted to go, my parents are there now I think. Or maybe Antarctica. I'm not really sure.” Cosima was worried suddenly for this kid, she had no idea where her parents were. 

“Yeah.” Cosima grinned thankful that she could talk about America, but nostalgic as hell too. “San Fran, so like the west. Ever heard of it?”

“Of course we've heard of it.” Rachel asserted, everyone ignored her. They were transfixed with Cosima. Cosima fell backwards onto the bed and sat there, they all crowded around her. At the centre of attention was not where she was used to being. But at least she had some time to talk that wasn't about religion. Cosima gave Rachel a neutral look that meant everything. 

“So yeah, it's pretty chill over there. So many amazing book shops and café's and stuff. My best friend Scott is back there. I miss him.” There was a sudden 'Ooooooo' from the girls around her that made her laugh a little. She seemed so much more mature. There seemed to be no real age difference, but it felt like she was 20 and they were 12, there was a loss of understanding. Cosima had seen the world, if they had been locked up here a long while they had missed out on an awful lot. 

“Is he your boyfriend?” Alison asked, the rest of the girls looked up in wonder. Cosima was taken aback. 

“No no! God no! He's just a guy who is a friend.” Instantly she felt the realisation creep over her. But no one seemed to be wavered with her drastic dismissal of the prospect. “He's more like a brother.” She backed up. 

“Do you have a boyfriend?” Another girl asked, she had light blonde hair and a huge mouth, Cosima was distracted by its size for a moment and then replied. 

“Nope...” then added. “Saving myself for marriage.” Was that even a Catholic thing or did she mess up? Cosima thought. 

“That's so committed.” One girl leant on her bed, her head on her hands and stared at her with a smile. Cosima was so out of place here it was unreal. Once she finished enthusing about America and the house that she used to live in, leaving out that she dropped out of school it was time for lessons. 

 

\--------

 

“Science is the structured observation and study of the physical and natural world.” Cosima had never been much interested in science before, but in this school with these girls she had to find something to indulge herself in. That way she would not get caught up in the religion or ignorant worlds of the girls she shared a room with. For this class Cosima sat at the front, Rachel at the back. It seemed that Miss C's assertion that there were no lessons and it was all whim wasn't totally true. And Cosima was thankful, at least she could make sense of the empirical stuff. She was could at practical subjects like science. Where she could do experiments to understand all the theory. The teacher was a woman with similar build and stature of Mistress Gertrude but without the same extent of age. She made science interesting...in her own way. There was no waffling, no bravado. It was science and that was what it is. It didn't need a show it was fascinating on it's own. At the end of science Cosima had filled her scrap of borrowed paper with notes on the topics they were looking at, the intricate details of 'Gods work'. It was not exactly the science she was used to, but they covered the basics. But she could tell she should never ask about evolution. As they were all exiting the room Miss C pounced at the door, her hands blocking them all from leaving. 

“Hope you are up for it girls, impromptu diving lesson, oui?” Miss C offered them all. Her eyes were wide in excitement, staring at them all with her lip half bitten by her teeth half already knowing the answer as she turned and walked off down the corridor. Rachel pushed past them all and followed.

“Well come on girls, grab your swimming things. We cannot disappoint.” Cosima looked back to the science teacher who nodded with a smile towards her and got back to her work. All of the girls were suddenly filled with a thrill and ran cheering to the shared room. Cosima was more confused than ever. Grabbing a swimming costume she thankfully packed she tried to find a bathroom to put it on. Before she could get to the door she realised everyone was stripping off, down to their bare skin and getting into their costumes. Cosima suddenly felt awkward, paralysed and looked to the wall by her bed. Not really sure what to do. She figured, if she could not see it did not exist. Stripping down too, she pulled her costume on over her thighs and up to her shoulders, pushing her arms through the straps. She looked so young all of a sudden. There was a slap on her shoulder and shuffle of feet. 

“Come on Neihaus, we cannot be late!” They all had swimming caps on and towels wrapped around their shoulders. What the hell was this, she grabbed a towel and her glasses case and followed after them. It wasn't an easy trip to the pool, which actually turned out to be a large lake with a small dock and diving boards. They had to walk through a small wooded area with only a small paved pave down to the waters edge. It was not foggy like when she first got there and it was warmer than she expected in rainy England. So it was not all bad. Miss C sat on a chair on the dock by the boards, smoking a cigarette and clapping her hands for them to hurry up. They all scurried down to the edge, but Cosima took her time. When she got within range she could see that Rachel was right next to Miss C, and that Miss C's eyes were firmly locked with her own. Cosima smiled, running her hand over her dreds, but Miss C did not smile, just watching her as she finally got to the docks edge.

“Come on Duncan, lets set the standard, oui.” Miss C said encouraging Rachel to take the first jump. Cosima was so self conscious of her body around Miss C that she clutched to her towel, wrapping it all the way around her body. Miss C was not looking at her however, just watching Rachel climb up the ladders of the diving boards, right to the top and preparing to jump. She didn't take long, within seconds her hands were above her head and her legs bent, jumping in the air, elegantly her body dived through the air and slashed through the waters surface, causing a splash. Everyone cheered and clapped as she emerged from the depths, and swam back to the doc. 

“The standard is set!” Miss C called out, getting up from her chair, and sucking gently on the end of her long thin cigarette. “Cosima, you next.” Miss C ordered. Cosima's eyes widened and she laughed slightly. 

“I don't dive.” Cosima stated, looking at the girls who all seemed horrified. The water look absolutely freezing cold, and it wasn't exactly hot even if it wasn't as cold as she thought. 

“Who does not dive! It is human nature, Cosima. Desire it!” Miss C was right in front of her. Cosima gulped and the closeness, the body of the hot woman, now wearing something completely different than earlier. Cosima suddenly took note of the 1920's style clothing, a long colourful skirt and strappy top, hat and scarf wrapped around her over her shoulders. Her brown big eyes like a pixies widened at her. Suddenly her hands held onto Cosima's bare shoulders and she leaned in. “Desire it, and it will be yours.” Miss C whispered at the side of her face into her ear. The contact of the warm breath against cold air excited Cosima. She was all too alert that if she dropped her towel the coldness would cover her horniness, so she did just that. Dropped her towel, as Miss C leaned back. To her disappointment Miss C's eyes did not drop to check her out, they just stared into her own. Cosima figured she had to do something fucking impressive to get this woman's attention. 

“Here it goes I guess.” Cosima psyched herself up, took her glasses off and put them down, she climbed up onto the ladder. Stretched her steps a little longer than she might have, staring at Miss C, who was now looking over to the rest of her girls. At the top she tried to think about what she had seen before on TV, at the olympics, anything that remotely resembled diving. But then she figured most of the great stuff she had done in life had been due to not thinking. So that's what she did, she stopped thinking. Walking to the edge, arms up high at either side of her head. At the edge she bent her knees and leaped off the edge in a turning pose. To her delight she actually did a full flip, stretching out just in time to graze the waters surface. Again to her amazement she didn't feel it that much, just the stark cold up against her skin. Underwater she wanted to gasp from the coolness but figured she couldn't really breath underwater and stopped. Swimming back up to the top. They were all clapping and cheering already. Miss C actually clapping as well, not that she did for Rachel. Rachel stood towel around her shoulders arms crossed with a sour expression. Cosima grinned although everyone was a little blurry. Climbing up onto the dock they helped her up, cold as ice she walked to her towel, not bothering to pull the costume which suctioned to her body. Catching Miss C's overwhelmed eyes, she winked, putting her glasses back on and drying herself off. 

“There appears to be a new standard Duncan.” Miss C said, still clapping on her own, walking over to Cosima and putting her arms around her shoulders helping her dry off by rubbing her arms up and down over the towel. Although she could not see her, Cosima smiled at the contact and looked at the dock, bending slightly to dry her legs off. 

“Helena it's your turn.” Miss C said although she was not at all interested. In a more personal whispered tone she said; “My my, miss Neihaus. Where have you been hiding that?” Miss C's French accent made it seem seductive as hell, but Cosima didn't know whether the woman was talking about her dive or her body she was helping to dry. She hoped it was the latter. Standing up and turning to face her they were faces apart. 

“Thanks, teach.” Cosima said with a grin, Miss C's hands still on her shoulder. 

“Call me Delphine. It's a much nicer name.” Delphine winked. But their moment was ruined by splashes of water all over them. Delphine span around to look at the water. “Oh Helena I have told you before, no second servings at breakfast!” Cosima laughed, feeling a little better about this whole situation as she watched Delphine bend down and help Helena get back up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last update today. School again tomorrow, I shall update again if I have time. Trust me my updates are quite quick.


	4. Chapter 4

4.

Slowly the sun crawled down the window of heir bedroom. Slowly as if teasing Cosima, it cracked the horizon. This meant it was the end of lessons, end of the day, end of prayer. Cosima headed up to her room, wearing her disgusting itchy uniform. No one was there yet, it was a special dinner of some concoction, but Cosima had other things on her mind than food right now. Before she realised she was going to be coming to a strange Catholic school she had packed a big enough stash of weed to last her until she could test a few dealers in England to see if it was the same stuff. Now she knew there were no dealers here she would have to ration it. But man was she craving a toke of the green stuff. Carefully blocking the door with one of the girls suitcases she barricaded the door. Not so that they couldn't get in, but that when they would try she would have time to hide what she was doing. As if she was holding the most precious fragile gem, Cosima pinched the newly ground weed into its paper, filling it just enough so that she would get high as hell but not wasting any extra. With the same precision Cosima licked the edge of the paper, moistening the glue that would hold it together. Using the width of the roach she made out of some girls Christmas card that was in her draw, she rolled the spliff, tightening the end. It was done, she had her first spliff of being in England perfectly rolled up. She knew that once all the girls were distracted she could get out of here, down to the woods by the dock and light this up. Grabbing her lighter she stuffed it in the stomach pocket of her long skirt. 

Pretending to go into one of the old offices along the main corridor Cosima avoid a few girls who were hanging around by the main exit. Waiting for them to leave, she jumped out of the room her ears pricked, sensitive to the slightest sound, her feet poised to dive out of the way if she needed to get out of sight. But nothing happened, she was able to get across the main hall, through the doors and around the sides of the school, and down the track to the dock. Taking a final survey of the surroundings she choose the edge of the woods with its neat view of the lake and great cover from the trees to set up camp. She had realised a few days previous after her 3rd prayer session that there was nothing to be gained in this establishment. If it can be called that, more a place where even thinking about sin is a sin in itself. Sitting down, pulling her long skirt up to give room for her knees, she sat cross legged on the ground, pulled her slightly bent spliff out and her lighter. Some of the weed fell out so she carefully picked it up with her finger tip and put it into the spliff. There was a noise in the forest. Cosima turned around her face flushed red and heart racing. But there was absolutely nothing there. Probably paranoia from just thinking about weed. It's total myth that weed 'causes' paranoia, its just what happens when you're doing something illegal in public. Putting flame to the twisted end she took a deep breath of the smoke, holding in her chest for an absolute age before releasing. Maybe it was the prospect of relaxing or the craving for it, but even that first drag made her feel different. After two of three drags of her strongest stash she was sufficiently high. Having nothing else to do she stared at the slight breeze on the water causing little ripples to rolls across it's surface. 

It had been about half an hour, the sun had completely gone down over the rolling hills and there was a chill picking up in the gap between Summer and Autumn. She decided to lay back against the bush she was sitting near to, with the years of over growth it was actually enough to support her. For just a second she closed her eyes, letting her spliff sit by her side intertwined with her fingers. Just for a second she felt the cool breeze on her skin, and then nothing. 

“Now I do not know what girls do in America, but I assume it is not doing drugs by lakes at Catholic schools.” Cosima's eyes shot open, taking a sharp breath, panicking about where she was, that she had got caught. They would take away her weed and her freedom. Soon she felt the twigs in her back, the white pebbles under her ass and the cold chill consume her. She was still at the beach. Looking to her right she saw the source of the French whisper. Miss C, with a big grin across her face, but serious and curious eyes. 

“Woah, I am so sorry! I didn't think anyone would come down here. Oh god! I mean, oh Christ. I mean...Jesus...urg...holy watershed.” Cosima gave up trying to speak, realising the spliff had been extinguished long time ago but with still half left. Somehow it did not burn out. Miss C was bent down next to Cosima, on her feet but so low, leaning over her. Slowly, Miss C's hand came up to tidy up Cosima's hair. At that second Cosima's heart raced again with adrenaline and lust, but the woman did not stroke her face or push a strand behind her ear, she instead pulled a twig from her dreds. Cosima blushed and laughed, taking the twig from her cold hand. At the contact there was an electricity between them. Miss C did not speak. “Please don't report me or whatever...” Cosima pleaded in a dead tone, her hand taking the burned out spliff and sliding it slyly behind her back. Miss C leaned forward, crossing totally over Cosima. And using her arm to support her on the other side. At firs Cosima didn't know what was going on, she could feel the weight on her over her chest and the warmth, her imagination running wild. But in the end she felt a tug at her cold hand behind her back and a smirk rising on Delphine's face. 

“I won't. If we share.” Delphine leant back moving her feet out from under her and sitting s little too closely to her. “Match?” Delphine asked, holding the spliff like the cigarette she had at the docks. Cosima was shocked, she was sure Miss C was about to tell her off or run away with it. But she sat down next to her and asked her for a light....Cosima was blushing madly, if not confused as hell again. At first she froze, and then her mind began shouting to her. COSIMA GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, DON'T YOU DARE PASS THIS OPPERTUNITY UP. Cosima smiled to herself and pulled her lighter out from her pouch. Miss C smiled and took it, holding the spliff between her lips like she had done all of her life and lighting it. Taking the same deep inhale that Cosima had and held it in. In wonder and searching for answers Cosima just stared at her, the way her lips held the object, her cold pale fingers and the way it struck at the flint on the lighter. The way her eyes closed as the smoke hit the back of her throat. And the way they opened up again as she released it like a long sigh at the end of a bad week. 

“Urr...You urrrr.” Cosima began but stuttered feeling conscious and embarrassed. 

“Oh Cosima so not speak.” Delphine said, in a whispered tone. “Do not ruin this moment.” Delphine took another long toke of it, thought about giving it to the girl, but saw how high she already was and exhaled. “Do you do this often? It is very uncatholic.” Delphine stated, there was no humour in her voice, but then again nothing seemed right when you had that strong a strand of the green in your system. 

“Well I'm not that great a Catholic.” Cosima stated, her eyes closing, feeling too tired to keep them open. She just left the masses of cold air breeze over her skin, chilling her, but it felt comfortable. The stones and sand under her hands felt even more detailed than before. Even more diverse in texture and sensitivity. It felt like they were alive. 

“I was hoping that was the case. Mon Cheri.” Cosima stopped breathing and listened to the words. Was this for real or was it all in her head? She kept her eyes closed a little more and listened to the soft breathing of the French woman next to her. Then it stopped too. Suddenly overwhelmed with warmth she opened her eyes. Delphine was right there in front of her, her eyes wide and her mouth just slightly apart, she was focused and wondrous and curious. If a stranger had done this to her at any other time of the day, or if any other person aside from her had done this, she would have bitch slapped them so hard. But for some reason she felt paralysed under the woman's close gaze. They stayed that just for a second more, staring into each others eyes, so close and almost toughing the cold air not even getting between them. Then it happened. 

Cosima gasped slightly at the heat of Miss C's lips on her own, but then when she kissed back it became natural, like they had been doing it all of their lives. It was soft, long and filled with Désir. But it was filled with something else as well and it scared her. Soon she craved more, more of the sensations crashing all over her body to her core. Her hands came up from the rocks, to the side of Delphine's face and guided her in closer. But her face pulled away, their kiss ended. The shocks of guilt and heat replaced with cold ice crashing against her face from the slight rain falling from the sky. Miss C was looking down at the ground, pulling herself back to where she was sat and stubbing out the roach under the sand. Getting up she wafted the weed smell off of her, pulling out a small perfume bottle with pump out of somewhere and spraying it all over herself. Without another word she began to walk back up to the school a certain elegance in her straight step, light but strong and determined. Cosima sat there trying to keep her eye lids open staring after the woman and her fine physic. But soon she could not, and decided it would be best to go back to the room. But before long she had fallen asleep.


End file.
